Disaster Scenes

the last person i dated accused me of trauma dumping and they were absolutely

right 

 that's why i spit it on a mic and y'all can turn this shit off whenever you'd

like 

 you're probably pretty selfish, like every other human 

 conditioned by a sick society, lacking empathy, acting like narcissism is

healthy 

 we blame it on our childhood, we blame it on the government 

 to some people out there self-care means shooting up the a corner or

compulsively fucking 

 seen my mother go from addict to addict and watching the madness of repeating

patterns causes damage 

 seen my father turn to a ninety-pound crackhead and that shit won't just

leave a kid's head

 all of these disaster scenes have taught me everything 

 the first person i hated said that they would never leave me 

 they broke that promise now i'm dishonest to anyone that tries to help the

trauma inside my head

 i'm a liar and a bad friend just like every other human 

 i'll burn the city down just to make you frown but won't look you in the eyes

long enough to make a connection

 i point our fingers at the drug war, point to pockets funding federal

 our prison system no different than economic terrorism destroying the family

from within

 the hurt and anger become fully grown, bitter as a broken nose 

 the weight of the snow outside a broken home 

 life in a violent lull stroll into a knife fight to the soundtrack of a soul

passing through a glass pipe 

 those are these disaster scenes have taught me everything  

 i can't believe that i waited until this moment to say anything 

 about what happened to me when i no more than three because today it isn't

bothering  

 see i am not a victim, like every other human 

 and not everything bad comes from the hands of a man and it was Pam that had

her way that day

 i blamed it on my childhood, i blamed it on my fucking parents

 how could they leave me in the hands of creep she abused and debased me

 handing me a bar of soap telling me to clean up before i go, a burn like

nothing i'd ever known 

 all of these disaster scenes have taught me everything i know