Is a Good Man Real?

I've never known one

What do they do?

We've always heard the legends

But can they be true?

My cousin's best friend's boyfriend

Once nearly cooked a meal

So is a good man real?

Does he try to remember

What his old lady said?

When he sleeps in on Tuesdays

Does he straighten the bed?

Once he's had three martinis

He'll let you take the wheel

Oh, is a good man real?

I've never seen a narwhal

The unicorn of the sea

But if God made whales and put horns on the males

Maybe he'd put a heart in a guy for me

He don't need money

I said good, not perfect

I'll settle for honey

And a quarterly date

So if you see this treasure

Please let him know how I feel

I hope a good man's real

I've never seen a narwhal

The unicorn of the sea

But if God made whales and put horns on the males

Maybe he'd put a heart in a guy for me

He don't need money

I'll settle for funny

So if you see this sucker

Please let him know how I feel

I hope a good man's real

I really wonder

Is a good man real?