We Need to Talk

You women need to talk, don't you?

Love to talk, gotta talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk (yeah)

How come we never get to talk?

Don't even try fellas, I tried it the other day

I walked in the room, I went "Honey, we need to talk"

My wife looked up, went, "Oh no, we don't"

Really? Okay, I'll get the car

Hey, if you see my spine laying around, pick it up, had a bigger spine

"No we don't." She got away with, "No we don't"

Can a man alive get away with that lame answer?

Imagine that, "We need to talk." No we don't

Oh, yes we do, alright

I wanna win one argument before I die

One argument with my wife, just one

Ladies, I know I never will, but it would be cool to win one

They could just put that on my headstone, you know, he won one

This was it

There's no winning

You women don't fight fair

You never stick to the fight, do you?

Always have to bring up something happened years ago

'Cause I was winning the other day, everybody knew I was winning

Our waiter knew, every guy in that restaurant knew

There were men looking at me going, "He's winning, go man, go!"

Out of clear blue my wife went, "Well, do you remember Thanksgiving '98?"

Every guy in there went, "Whoa!"

You better lay down man, bless your heart

I'm teasing ladies, y'all take care of us, you do

You take care of us

Ain't a man in this room can deny that

We can't live without you, we all know that

'Cause we've all tried

We would if we could, we can't, there's no way

I can't even buy clothes for myself anymore

She sucked that part of my brain out of my head

I still try though, you know, I just walk in the store and going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

They go, "What do you like?"

I don't know, she knows what I like

What do I like?

My wife went through a phase, she was so worried about what I was wearing

She actually numbered my shirts and lettered my pants

We'd go out, it's like a bad game of bingo

You know, "Henry, what are you wearing? B-27

Shut up

We don't buy things for you ladies, we try, we try

I try to buy my wife all kinds of stuff, I'm not good at it

I figured out the one thing guys can buy, we can buy flowers

Now we don't know what kind to buy, we just know when to buy them

'Cause we know when we've messed up

And thank God for 24-hour grocery stores with a floral department

I can't count the times at two in the morning, I go running in there

There's already four guys, looking at that little refrigerator

I'm like, "They better have some more in the back

Or we're in big time trouble, what did you do anyway?

I said her up, how many flowers is that, three or four?

Where's that conversion chart?

There we go, four flowers, I'm off the hook

What'd you do? Chipped the gravy boat

Sissy jewelry chart

That's a joke, ladies

You do take care of us though, you do

It's amazing, it's amazing what y'all do for us