Division 5

I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report

Well they looked me up and down, then their eyes went to the ground

They burst out laughing and they showed me the door

I showed the officer my tears, and said, "I ain't seen her in years"

And he said, "Son, do you know where it is she's at?"

I said, "I'm pretty sure I do, at least the province and the town

But she swears that she ain't never coming back"

And he said, "Brother, that's the deal, sometimes it's over and done for real

There ain't a goddamn thing the Mounties can do

We get folks speeding in their cars, getting way too drunk in bars

But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you

I got just the thing for a sad sack like you"

He pulled out a prewar Double O, wired up in stainless steel

He aimed it at my heart and took a breath

"You sure you're ready for the truth? 'Cause that's the ammo that I use"

I said, "I am," I raised my hands and dropped my head

And he sang, "Brother, that's the deal, sometimes it's over and done for real

There ain't a goddamn thing the Mounties can do

We get folks speeding in their cars, getting way too drunk in bars

But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you

I got just the thing for a sad sack like you"

I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report

Well they looked me up and down, then their eyes went to the ground

They burst out laughing and they showed me the door

Said they ain't never seen nobody so lost before