Said No

said no

drove far

past her expectations,

I refused to play my part

walking out

the open door

is like surviving

a war

bought a necklace to stop shaking

jade with a gold chain amulet

throw the I ching like when I was eighteen

toss all my pennies in the fountain

In the bathtub I’m a genius

preaching to memories

then I levitate, no longer privilege pain

signal crowd cheering

fill the water to the top

to be held, to stop gripping

let it slosh over, leak through the ceiling

I wanna stain something

mirror, mirror

no to blood family

to underwire, copper in my body,

frozen peas and being so hungry