Drunk I Am

The beers are going down easy

And my team's playing on the TV

That tequila and lime's

Got me losing all track of time

Been a blurry neon evening

And these texts, they ain't like reading

I think her fourth missed call might be a sign

So, I picked it up, thought I was tough

And the first thing I said, was

I ain't as think as you drunk I am

No, I ain't even a little buzzed

I can walk a straight line ten times outta nine

Right now, right here

I promise, baby, I'm on my way

I swear, I already paid my tab

Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man

I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Well, I guess I raised a few

'Cause Jimmy just got a divorce

And Timmy just joined the force

And Kimmy, you just bought a horse, right?

And Jimmy, you got a divorce

I ain't as think as you drunk I am

No, I ain't even a little buzzed

I can walk a straight line ten times outta nine

Right now, right here

I promise, baby, I'm on my way

I swear, I already paid my tab

Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man

I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Alright though, I'm really gonna need a ride home

I think she's actually not pissed at me

Life is good on the porch

Yeah, she wasn't listening

So, I put her on speakerphone

We all said, "We ain't as drink as, fuck"

We ain't as think as we drunk we are

No, we ain't even a little buzzed (Yes, that what it is)

(Get ready) we can walk a straight line ten times outta nine

Right now, right here

I promise, lady, I'm on my way (you said my tab is what?)

I think I paid everybody's tab (I ain't paying for that shit)

Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man

I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Kimmy just got a divorce, she can't afford it

(I think we got-)