I Don't Want to Join the Army (Medley)

I don't want to join the Army, I don't want to go to war

I'd rather hang around Piccadilly underground

Living off the earnings of a high born lady

I don't want a bayonet up me ass hole

I don't want me bullocks shot away

I'd rather stay in England, in merry, merry England

And fornicate me bleedin' life away

Hitler has only got one ball

Göring has two, but very small

Himmler has something similar

But then ol' Goebbels has no balls at all

We are Fred Kano's army, we are the RFC

We can not fight, we can not fuck

But bleeding good are we

And when we get to Berlin, ol' Hitler he will say

"Ah heck mein gott, what a puffy fine lot, oh the boys of the RFC."

Our Sergeant Major leads a solitary life

He can't afford a woman and he hasn't got a wife

So he uses the end of the regimental fife as

He revels in the joys of masturbation

They say there's a boat on the river, the river

They say that it's loaded with beer

Oh why is that boat on the river, the river

It fuckin' well 'ought to be here

Sing it, hey drink a jig, fuck a little bit, all of the band

All of the band with your cock in your hand

Hey drink a jig, fuck a little bit, all of the band

All in a call of the band

Been in the saddle for countless and downwards

I've stuck it as long as I could

I've stuck it and stuck it and now I say "Fuck it!"

"My ass hole is not made of wood."

Sing it, hey drink a jig, fuck a little bit, all of the band

All of the band with your cock in your hand

Hey drink a jig, fuck a little bit, all of the band

All in a call of the band