album cover
Self Hate
Singer/Songwriter
Self Hate was released on March 29, 2022 by Sun Star as a part of the album To Love Myself
album cover
Release DateMarch 29, 2022
LabelSun Star
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM56

Credits

COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Elanor Cutcliffe
Elanor Cutcliffe
Songwriter

Lyrics

Self hate and loathing myself
These things I know well
I learned from a young age
My body was my shame
I'm trying to change that, I am
Bless my mother
She spent her life trying to change
Never saw the beauty in
The parts she learned to hate (she was so beautiful)
I'm trying to break the cycle, I am
I'm trying to break the cycle, I am
But why's it gotta be like this?
Why I gotta feel like this?
I don't understand why it is
I saw no difference
Size twenty or a ten
I hated myself even then (I never could win)
I'm trying to feel okay
Unlearning a life of self hate
Numbers flying left and right
I never caught one that fixed me inside (like they said I would)
I got back that summer
Four sizes smaller
And people asked me how I did it
(It was all they could see)
No one even thought I could be sick
(I could be sick, I could be sick)
But why's it gotta be like this?
Why I gotta feel like this?
I don't understand why it is
I saw no difference
Size twenty or a ten
I hated myself even then
I'm trying to feel okay
Unlearning a life of self hate
Why do I think shrinking will make me happy, happy, happy?
Why do I think shrinking will make me happy, happy?
I know it didn't fix me back then
But I confess
I wanna be thin again
But I know that's not the answer (it never was)
Deep down I know
That's not the answer (and never will be)
And I'm trying to break the habit
Yeah, the endless cycle of it
Unlearning a life of self hate
Written by: Elanor Cutcliffe
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