Sugar/Tzu

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the sporting event of the year?

To the thousands in attendance, and to the millions watching around the world

Let's see some thunder

Posterity will show me to be

The greatest the world has ever seen

A genius among non-entities

The Leadweight clash of the century

February 31st, 2163

I was there, but could not see

Being a three foot three superfluous freak

Blinded by necks, upper backs and knees

Folded fat, flapped by the breeze

Sun Sugar in the red trunks

And Sun Tzu in the blue

Both ran to the centre of the ring

While the rhinestone suit continued to sing

Sun Sugar, a simple man, cut from coarse cloth

Sun Tzu, seeking strength from a snakeskin broth

Weighing in at

Six hundred pounds

I ran through legs to the front of the crowd

And Sun Sugar came over

Sun Sugar came over and shook my hand

He turned away and I shot him in the back

Sun Sugar came over and shook my fucking hand

He turned away and I might shot him in the back

Sun Tzu raised his arms

Crowned champ while Sugar bled on

No doctor on the scene

The audience won

Eventually found and sentenced to life

Spent reading the letters of a million wives

Sun Sugar came, wouldn't be shit without me

The youngest executioner in tabloid memory