Haulin' Ass

Haulin’ Ass

(Jason McCoy, Chris Byrne)

© Airstrip Music Inc. (SOCAN) / Chris Byrne (SOCAN)

There ain’t no money drivin’ horses and the cattle market’s dry

Them chickens don’t pay chicken feed and that ain’t gonna fly

So I found myself a market niche

On which to specialize

You need your burrow transportated

Buddy I’m your guy

I’m haulin’ ass, I’m haulin’ ass

Don’t’ give that mule a second thought I’ll get ‘er there first class

Ya and if you hear a bray, you’d better get out of my way

I’m tearin’ up the highway haulin’ ass

I got stopped out on ol’ 94, just south of Lincolnshire

This old trooper in his mirror shades, said son now where’s the fire?

I clocked you 20 over, what’s the hurry, why so fast

Said I got myself a deadline I’m haulin’ ass

I’m haulin’ ass, I’m haulin’ ass

Turn the other way now officer and let me fly right past

Well you know I hate to wait I’m as stubborn as my freight

I’m just tearin’ up the highway, hammer down I’m haulin’ ass

Well there’s groups, and clubs and gatherin’s at every county fair

And they’re handin’ out blue ribbons to every jack and jenny there

They use them for companionship, protection and for show

And a host of sordid other things I would not care to know

I’m haulin’ ass, I’m haulin’ ass

They just pay to have ‘em hauled away

And brother I don’t ask

I’m just your average honkey, makin money movin’ donkey

Tearin up the highway jammin’ gears I’m haulin’ ass

…haulin’ ass

Traffic jam in Arizona, cookin’ up a high aroma

Red tail lights started partin’ like the sea

People pluggin’ up their noses, let me pass right through like Moses

And I was on my way down to Calvary…. Tennessee

Haulin’ ass, I’m haulin’ ass

They’re the nobelist of creatures, hey buddy don’t you laugh

Well you know that Jesus rode one, and Mother Mary owned one’

So hold your head up high if you’re out here haulin’ ass

Haulin’ ass, I’m haulin’ ass

My professional title may sound a little crass

Well the old girl takes a ribbin’ for the way I make my livin’

When she tells her friends her old man’s on the highway

Haulin’ ass

Ya the price of rail is way too high

Them critters they don’t like to fly

Save the fee, ship with me

Kiss your ass goodbye