The Night Before

I have regrets, I am not violent

But you built me, Not to be silent

Where silent got me Was nothing but pain

Nights of bad dreams And the next nights are the same

Take these cuts And paint a picture

Look away if you must But to me this is a fixture

I'm tired of this shit Looking over my back

But I plan to fix this All I need to do is pack

I live with the pain Those words stuck to me

To be known without introduction It fucking sucks to be

Preceded by the words of liars By the stories of sheep

No wonder I wear my heart on these sleeves

I'm too emotional, I'm an angel posing as a devil

If you only knew how far I'd stoop to your level

Fuck everything that I once knew about turning the other cheek

Because without vengeance, my life is nothing but bleak

No justice or recourse, just fable after false lore

I'll close a window, but it just walks through the door

Chasing me, a burden that floats above me

Wishing it was a halo but that's not the ending I'm wanting

In a few days, I'll learn of a heaven or hell

And if I get to the Pearly Gates, I got a story to tell

But if I end up more than six feet below you

Just know that it was nice that I've known you

I'm too far gone at this point, nothing can stop this

Unless I go blind and all of my fuckin' shots miss

I'm scared but in my world there needs to be justice

I wish they'd just die in a pool of red and cut wrists

But they live happy times, knowing what agony they caused me

Pictures with families, new adventures they're flaunting

I'm planning their death, and sometimes that's exhausting

But planning my own, that's just downright daunting

There is no more purpose to the life that I have now

Except to be a horrible reminder of how to lash out

If youre unheard and the narrative of your life changes

Take a gun, blow them up, become fuckin' famous

Are you on your meds right now?

Fucking nope. But I'll play catchup when the task is done.