Shaving Too

One time a guy handed me a picture of him, he said he said here's a picture

Of me when I was younger

Every picture is of you when you were younger

Here's a picture of me when I'm older

You son of a bitch, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera

What's it look like?

I got a roommate, I live in New York City, I got a roommate to save money

But see, I fucked up because I'm 31 and I'm tool old for a roommate

I fucked up severely, I signed a year lease too, I really fucked up

It's like I wrote a joke that didn't work but now I have to tell it for a year

So see, my roommate say I need to shave and use the shower

Does anyone need to use the bathroom?

It's like some weird ass quiz where he reveals the answer first

Every time, every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else

On the planet shaving so I say I'm gonna go shave too

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know

It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because

What if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky

Look what I got, motherfucker

This thing is useful, I'm gonna go pick something up

My sister wanted to be an actress, she never made it

But she does live in a trailer, she got halfway

So she's an actress, she's just never called to the set

On a traffic light, green means go and yellow means yield

But on a banana, it's just the opposite

Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead

And red means where the fuck did you get that banana at?