Always December

Snow is falling, it's middle July Just another day here in my mind Can't escape what's inside I've been running my whole damn life Years go by, but the colors won't change Been so long since I've felt anything Feelings fading so fast Like I'm watching my own life through glass No one sees, but it's always December in me No matter where I go, it's pouring rain In my head, seasons never change And it's killing me No one sees, but it's always December in me Tried so hard to be brave But the reasons this life is worth living Get hard to remember When it's always December Black and white only colors I see Sunless sky, somehow stuck on repeat But I hold it all down Don't want anyone to feel this but me (but me) I'm only free from it when I'm asleep The more I think, the more I feel myself sink Back to this empty place It's a nightmare I could never explain (never explain) No one sees, but it's always December in me No matter where I go, it's pouring rain In my head, seasons never change And it's killing me No one sees, but it's always December in me Tried so hard to be brave But the reasons this life is worth living Get hard to remember Can't outrun the cold when it's in my head, in my head It's been getting old, wishing I was dead, I was dead As this overcast suffocates me I'm done waiting on some sign of spring I would rather lay here in my bed Than have to face what lives here in my head Hell just being awake Hurts much more than I could ever explain No one sees, but it's always December in me No matter where I go, it's pouring rain In my head, seasons never change And it's killing me No one sees, but it's always December in me Tried so hard to be brave But the reasons this life is worth living Get hard to remember When it's always December