Big Women with Bad Tattoos

Let me tell ya bout this friend of mine

Don’t ya know I been his best man twice

Been kicked out of bars and in a few fights

Back in our younger days

He says he’s slicker than Vaseline

He drives a beat up old limousine

He’s just different if ya know what I mean

I wouldn’t have it any other way

He likes big women with bad tattoos

He’s addicted to caffeine and Mexican food

He don’t concern himself with the evening news

Watches cartoons when he gets high

He likes Texas Pete on his pineapple pizza

And Lonestar beer in his margarita

Make him your friend he’s your friend for life

Ain’t no two ways around it he’s a one of a kind

One of a kind

One of a kind

I get a drunk call when he’s raisin’ hell

I’m his first call when he goes to jail

Well he’s out of luck cause I can’t make bail

But I’ll pick him up when he gets out

He likes big women with bad tattoos

He’s addicted to caffeine and Mexican food

He don’t concern himself with the evening news

Watches cartoons when he gets high

He likes Texas Pete on his pineapple pizza

And Lonestar beer in his margarita

Make him your friend he’s your friend for life

Ain’t no two ways around it he’s a one of a kind

One of a kind

He ain’t the sharpest crayon in the shed

But if ya get in trouble brother just say when

He’s got my back no questions asked

Everybody needs a friend like that

Who likes big women with bad tattoos

He’s addicted to caffeine and Mexican food

He don’t concern himself with the evening news

He’d rather watch the Price is Right

He likes Texas Pete on his pineapple pizza

And Lonestar beer in his margaritas

Make him your friend he’s your friend for life

Ain’t no two ways around it he’s a one of a kind

One of a kind

One of a kind

One of a kind

One of a kind