Fatherless Child

It's a Monday, finally found the perfect beat

To speak my piece on how I came to be

The way I was raised, how I was born

Why I smile so sad, and have eyes of the storm

Mom's from Virginia, you from Rhode Island

Met up in a state where the sun's always smilin'

Minds connected, physicals exchanged

Y'all both believin' that the world could be changed

Time passed to 1973

And you begged my mom to create me

First, she said no, but she loved you too much

1974, had a child to touch

But you was into other things that rip life's seams

Liquor, drugs, other women, destroying dreams

But you know how women be, she tried to hold on

For the sake of y’all love and the beautiful bond

I'm a fatherless child, it's all I've ever been

It's all I'll ever be since you're gone from me

Still, I hope you know

That I could never un-love you

1974 was the year things changed

Too much alcohol makes people violent and strange

You broke the windows with a baseball bat

As my mother cried inside with me on her lap

The dream destroyed, it was time to leave

She didn't take much, just a few things, her love, and me

That was the birth of this fatherless child

And a strugglin' mother with the world in her eyes

She did it though, put herself in college

Raising me with grace, givin' me the knowledge

And pops, you? You never came by

Never sent money, never called to say hi

I used to lie to the other kids on the block

Say I knew where you was at so the questions would stop

I fronted to my friends that you didn't mean much

But I used to cry alone and long for your touch

I'm a fatherless child, it's all I've ever been

It's all I'll ever be since you're gone from me

Still, I hope you know

That I could never un-love you

Ninth grade, I thought you was dead

Called my mom about a paper, and that's what she said

I was angry and confused all because of you

Wanted to ask you why, and just say fuck you

But the feeling passed, what was my option?

Studyin' my face, tryna find what was lost and

I decided that you didn't mean shit

That I was really worth lovin', and you lost a gift

Before that, I grew breasts and things

Got raped in a bathroom and the question stings

Would it have, could it have, should it have

Been different if I had your hand to grab?

Would I be easier to love, not so torn inside

If you had beat that man, and stood by my side?

Would I write sad songs and court pain daily?

How different would I be if you had raised me?

I'm a fatherless child, it's all I've ever been

It's all I'll ever be since your gone from me

Still, I hope you know

That I could never un-love you

1997, you called my home

From Telegraph and 43rd for the child you never owned

I told you come by, Adam came to help me

You were homeless and drunk, but not lookin' unhealthy

We sat for hours, I asked you every question

We sang on my porch and discussed life's lessons

And I loved you like you had always been there

You said you'd never leave again, so I released my fears

1999, tryin' to sign my deal

Ten years of hard work, finally becoming real

So I brushed you off, writin' a song for a movie

That was the last time I saw you, forgive me truly

The day my deal was done, you died

With a needle in your arm and angels by your side

And I miss you, tattooed it on my back

Fatherless child, fade to black

I'm a fatherless child, it's all I've ever been

It's all I'll ever be since you're gone from me

Still, I hope you know

That I could never un-love you

I'm a fatherless child, it's all I've ever been

It's all I'll ever be since you're gone from me

Still, I hope you know

That I could never un-love you