I'm Still Trying

My mind it sings of the memories

How they tug and cling

I lay listening

I could touch my past, feel the heavy air

Hear the branches scratch

I lay looking back

I remember when I used to drive right over

I remember when you used to pull me closer

I was traded for a cigarette

In a bed you shared with an older friend

I remember all the years I yearned for closure

I'm still trying

And I wish I knew

Why I barely call, why I'm short with you

I shut my eyes and, kid, you grew

So, I've learned with time

All the bonds you build either live or die

I've come to carve away my pride

I remember when you used to call me, brother

I remember when you used to climb on my shoulders

We would lay out in the sun to dry

Have a heart-to-heart from time-to-time

I remember all the grief we gave our mother