Why Women Need Wine

When I woke up this morning, nothing in my closet seemed to fit me right

My skirts were all too long or short, my shirts too loose or tight

And when I swear, what do I do with my hair? How am I gonna get to work on time?

It's Greta Garbo or Frankenstein

Is why women need wine

Yeah, it's just like in the Army, girl, you know, be all you can be

'Cause girls can do anything, but women must do everything, and be all they want you to be

Oh, I try to be tough, but it ain't enough is what I always find

Oh, just too much the rest of the time

Is why women need wine

After half a glass, I feel divine

It's all peace on Earth, goodwill towards men, everything is gonna turn out fine

Oh, I'm gonna say the perfect thing at just the perfect time

Just keep reading between the lines

Is why women need wine

He said, "Sorry for interrupting, but I know what you're gonna say"

It was hard to look him in the eye when he wouldn't even look my way

"You can speak up, gal, if time allows, but nobody wants to hear you whine

Grow up, but not over thirty-nine"

Is why women need wine

"Honey, I know you didn't ask me, but let me give you a piece of my mind

'Cause with my vast experience, I can probably give you some advice

I mean, do it your way, but I gotta say, you'll be sorry if you decline

You're like a book I read a hundred times"

Is why women need wine

After half a glass, I feel divine

It's all peace on Earth, goodwill towards men, everything is gonna turn out fine

Oh, I'm gonna say the perfect thing at just the perfect time

Just keep reading between the lines

Is why women need wine

Now, let me just apologize, well, this probably ain't worth a damn

And thanks so much for listening, feel free to help me understand

Why I gotta over-explain just why my aim misses the mark about every time

Just trying to get myself back in line

Is why women need wine

After half a glass, I feel divine

It's all peace on Earth, goodwill towards men, everything is gonna turn out fine

Oh, I'm gonna say the perfect thing at just the perfect time

Just keep reading between the lines

Is why women need wine