The Everclear Song

Every day in lunch in high school

And all of my senior year

I'd drink my Coca-Cola

With a touch of Everclear

I never had to study math

Science or history

I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory

In my junior year, I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherrie Ann

One night I put some Everclear in her Dr. Pepper can

I thought it'd make her easy but she took it pretty hard

I took her home and rang her doorbell

Left her layin' in the yard

Tequila dries me out

And beer just makes me fat

Whiskey makes me nauseous, tell me who the hell needs that

If you're thinkin' about drinkin'

Then the answer's crystal clear

It's the invisible intoxicant

It's called Everclear

I remember my church picnic in the spring of '89

They had four fresh watermelon sliced right off the vine

When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food

Hey I pulled out the bottle and I soaked them melons good

Well they never knew what hit 'em when the potion went to work

They had grandma's doing back flips, grandpas looking up their skirts

They were singing "Hallelujah" and Willie Nelson songs

Preacher said it was the best dang picnic

That the Baptists have ever thrown

Tequila dries me out

And beer just makes me fat

Whiskey makes me nauseous tell me who the hell needs that

If you're thinkin' about drinkin'

Then the answer's crystal clear

It's the invisible intoxicant

It's called Everclear

When I'm drinkin' Everclear

I think I'm kind of this whole world

I'm bigger and badder than John Wayne

And cooler than Steve Earle

Until I wake up and I'm face down in the hall

Hey I'm completely naked

For a reason I can't recall

Well I'm kinda sorta thinkin' that maybe I met a chick

'Cause there's perfume in the air

And there's lipstick on my neck

Well I hope that she was pretty and I hope that she was kind

Enough to leave my clothes somewhere they're easy to find

Tequila dries me out

And beer just makes me fat

Whiskey makes me nauseous tell me who the hell needs that

If you're thinkin' about drinkin'

Then the answer's crystal clear

It's the invisible intoxicant

It's called Everclear