The Ballad Of Dorothy Parker (2020 Remaster)

Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade

She worked the night shift

Dishwater blonde, tall and fine

She got a lot of tips

Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room

Fightin' with lover's past

I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine

Dorothy was fast

Well, I ordered, "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't too hungry"

Dorothy laughed

She said, "It sound like a real man to me (You're kinda cute)

You're kinda cute, you wanna take a bath?" (Do you wanna, do you wanna?)

Bath?

Oh, I said, "Cool, but I'm leavin' my pants on (What you say?)

'Cause I'm kinda goin' with someone"

She said, "Sound like a real man to me

Mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Oh, my favorite song," she said

And it was Joni singing, "Help me, I think I'm falling" (Drring)

The phone rang and she said

"Whoever's calling can't be as cute as you"

Right then and there I knew I was through (Dorothy Parker was cool)

Well

My pants were wet, they came off

But she didn't see the movie 'cause she hadn't read the book first

Instead she pretended she was blind

An affliction brought on by a witch's curse

Dorothy made me laugh (Ha ha, ha ha)

I felt much better so I went back to the violent room (Tell us what you did, what you did)

Let me tell you what I did

I took another bubble bath with my pants on

All the fighting stopped

Next time I'll do it sooner

This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Well

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Well

Oh