Los Angeles

I've been telling everyone I know

That when September comes, I'll make my move

I'll change my email, lose my phone

I'll shave my head and buy new clothes

And let those Santa Ana winds

Just blow away these old

Computer blues

That I've accrued

So I picked a U-Haul up in Queens

Packed up my things and bid my last adieu

But as I drove through New Jersey

I'd a thought that did disturb me

Maybe winter's not a season

It's a state of being

That just being in a warmer state

Won't help me lose

And so I

Won't be moving out to Los Angeles

This fall, after all

I've got a mother that I just can't please

I've got a lover that I just can't leave

I've signed along the dotted line and I turned in my keys

But I'm nowhere close to Los Angeles

So I'm driving back to New York

To the tune of "California Here We Come"

My cat curls up in the shotgun seat

And she gives one of those looks to me

That seems to say, "Well that was quite the stunt you pulled

You old son of a gun"

"Now have a think about what you've done"

Oh, wouldn't my life be so much better?

Wouldn't all my problems sorta disappear?

If I could find the courage now

To turn this speeding dump around

And drag it all behind me

Into the sunset lighting up my rearview mirror

Perhaps another year

Oh no, I

Won't be moving out to Los Angeles

This fall, after all

I've got a mother that I just can't please

I've got a lover that I just can't leave

I've signed along the dotted line and I turned in my keys

But I'm nowhere close to Los Angeles