I'm My Own Doctor

I've been self diagnosing all of my problems

Carrying all my stress in the jaw

I've got all sorts of health products

Aspirin and robo and my new skin care wash

It couldn't be excessive caffeine

Dehydration or lack of sleep

I need something real heavy, whoa

I've been banging my head to the beat of trauma

Cynic in bandage by natural law

I've got all sorts of beauty products

Face paint and polish, resistant to the wash

Now I don't trust my Tylenol to save my ass when I mess up

Now I doubt my Neti Pot, couldn't even clear up all my snot

I need to fix myself, whoa

I've been self diagnosing all of my problems

Carrying all my stress in the jaw

I've got all sorts of beauty products

Face paint and polish, resistant to the wash

Now I don't trust my Tylenol to save my ass when I mess up

Now I doubt my Neti Pot, couldn't even clear up all my snot

I need to fix myself, whoa