I Hate Men

I hate men

I can't abide them even now and then

Then ever marry one of them, I'd rest a maiden rather

For husbands are a boring lot that only give you bother

Of course, I'm awful glad that mother had to marry father

Still, I hate men

Of all the types of men I've met in our democracy

I hate the most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy

He may have hair upon his chesst, but sister, so has Lassie!

Oh, I hate men!

I hate men

They should be kept like piggies in a pen

You may be wooed by Jack the Tar, so charming and so chipper

But if you're wooed by Jack the Tar, be sure that you're the skipper

For Jack the Tar can go too far. Remember Jack the Ripper?

Oh, I hate men!

If thou shouldst wed a business man, be wary, oh be wary:

He'll tell you he's detained in town on business neccesary

The business is the business that he gives his secretary!

Oh, I hate men!

I hate men

Though roosters they, I will not play the hen

If you espouse an older man through girlish optimism

He'll always stay at home and night and make no criticism

Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism

Oh, I hate men!

Of all I've read, alone in bed, from A to Zed about 'em

Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout 'em

But, ladies, you must answer too, what would we do without 'em?

Still, I HATE men!