Hell and Santa Ana

Jeff Dunham:

How ya doin' Peanut?

Peanut:

Doin' pretty good! How about you?

Jeff:

I'm good

Peanut:

That's good, that's good, that's good!

(Peanut laughs)

Well looks like a pretty good crowd tonight!

Jeff:

You like it here?

Peanut:

Oh, I love coming here ta, ta, duh, ta, this town right here

Which town?

This one

Which is?

The one we're in right now(high-pitched voice)!

Peanut?

What Jeff?

Where are we?

You don't know(high pitch(hp))?

I don't think you know

I forgot! Well, I forgot!

You forgot?

Yeah, when we go sit down many places, I forgot!

Think about it for a second!

Alright, alright, alright, alright!

Damn

The drive from the valley...

Was bad as hell

Traffic?

Sucked like hell!

Drivers?

Angry as hell!

And you?

Were scared as hell!

Parking here?

Sucked more like hell!

So-

We're in hell!

And these are our hellmates!

Think of the next time someone tells you to "Go to hell!" you come right here!

Where are we?

I DON'T KNOW!

Help me out here-help me out!

(deep-voice(dv)) Sorry!

I wrote it down for ya

Oh god he wrote it down!

Oh, yes! I love coming to:

Sah-nah-tah Ah...nah

What the hell is that?

Sah-nah-tah-Ah-nah

What is it, frickin Indian Reservation, what the hell?

Sah-nah-tah-Ah-nah!

Hell!

It's Santa Anna!

Wha-

It says Santa Anna!

Look, I know I didn't finish school, but that frickin says:

Sah-nah-tah-Ah-na!

Dumbass!

I will never blink!

They pronounce it Santa Anna!

Well, they're wrong!

Sah-nah-tah-Ah-nah! Sah-nah-tah-Ah-nah!

Sah-nah-tah-Ah-nah! Hoy-hai-ya-ya!

It's Santa Anna!

Are you sure!?

Yes

Ok! Ok!

And you're happy to be here?

What?

You're happy to be here?

Oh, yes I am!

Just last week I was lying in bed, and I woke up sobbing "I will never be happy until we return to- Sah-nah-tah-Ah-nah!

And now we're here!

HpThank you for bringing me!

It's a fine city

Ok!

We're playing in a very nice theatre!

Ok!

This town is great!

It's a fine city!

Have you looked around!?

Holy crap!

It sucks!

A lot of history in this city!

Translated: Old as shit!

They've been rejuvenating, refurbishing-

Polish a turd, it's still a turd!

It's a fine city

Ok!

Sorry!