Tango: Maureen

Mark?

Uh, yeah, and you must be Joanne

I told her not to call you

That's Maureen

But can I help since I'm here?

I've hired an engineer

Great, so nice to have met you

Wait, she's three hours late

The samples won't delay, but the cable

There's another way

Say something, anything

Test, one, two, three

Anything but that

This is weird

It's weird

Very weird

Super weird

I'm so mad that I don't know what to do

Fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones

And to top it all off, I'm with you

Feel like going insane, got a fire in your brain

And you're thinking of drinking gasoline

As a matter of fact

Honey, I know this act

It's called the tango: Maureen

The tango: Maureen

It's a dark dizzy merry-go round

As she keeps you dangling

You're wrong

Your heart she is mangling

It's different with me

And you toss and you turn 'cause her cold eyes can burn

Yet you yearn and you churn, and rebound

I think I know what you mean, the tango: Maureen

Has she ever pouted her lips and called you pookie?

Never

Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

This is spooky

Did you swoon when she walks through the door?

Every time, so be cautious

Did she moon over other boys?

Oh, more than moon

I'm gettin' nauseous

Where'd you learn to tango?

With the Spanish Ambassador's daughter

In her dorm room at Miss Porter's, and you?

With Nanette Himmelfarb, the rabbi's daughter

At the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center

Oh, it's hard to do this backwards

You should try it in heels

She cheated

She cheated

Maureen cheated

Yeah, she cheated

I'm defeated, I should give up right now

Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might

I fought for her still anyhow

When you're dancing her dance, you don't stand a chance

Her grip on romance makes you fall

So you think, might as well

Dance a tango to Hell

At least I'll have tangoed at all

The tango: Maureen

Gotta dance till your diva is through

You  pretend to believe her

'Cause in the end you can't leave her

But the ends, it will come

Still you have to play dumb

Till you're glum and you bum and turn blue

Why do we love when she's mean?

And she can be so obscene

Try the mic

My Maureen

We're patched

Thanks

You know?

I feel great now

I feel lousy

Hi, honey, we're

Pookie, you never called me pookie

Forget it, we're patched

The tango: Maureen