Spidey-Bells (A Hero's Lament)

Oh, Spidey-bells, Spidey-bells

Swinging through mid town

Oh what fun to sling a web

And take the bad guys down

Spidey-bells, Spidey-bells

Quipping all the time

Oh what fun to swing around

New York while fighting crime

Thwipping through the streets

Of New York every night

Wrapping bad guys up

In my web so tight

Crawling up the walls

Making villains fight

What fun to make the holidays

Free from crime tonight

Oh, Spidey-bells, Goblin smells

Vulture laid an egg

Spider buggy blew a tire

Venom got away

Spidey-bells, Spidey-bells

Swinging all the way

Oh what fun it is to fight

The bad guys every night

Swinging through the streets

A web of spider silk

Kicking all the butts

Of villains and their ilk

Bombs for goblins fling, fling

Pumpkins burning bright, bright

How hard it is to consistently bring

Peace to New York all night

Oh Spidey-bells might be swell

To do more than fight crime

I got a lot of qualities

That don't get much airtime

I can sing, I can dance, I tell jokes, I act

I get big, big, big deal my agent call me back

Why did I agree to do this stupid song?

I have a degree in Chemical Engineering

I thought it would be fun to show this side of me

But now I feel it lacks artistic integrity

Oh, Spidey-bells, Spidey-bells

Is this who I've become?

Selling out my good name

For an impulse buy album

Oh, Spidey-bells, Spidey-bells

I'm filled with deep regret

I'm cancelling this song's release

For the press I get

Oh, Spidey-bells, Spidey-bells

Swinging through mid town

Oh what fun to sling a web

And take the bad guys down