I'm a Truck

I'm a truck

You've heard songs about truck drivers

Many times their stories told

How they pulled out of Pittsburg

For six days on the road

'Bout the Feather River Canyon

And climbin' the ol' grapevine

That old roadhouse down in Texas

And the girls they've left behind

You've heard their tales of daring

And I think that's just fine

But if you can spare a minute

Well, I'd like to tell you mine

There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks

No double-clutchin', gear-jammin', coffee drinkin' nuts

Well they drive their way to glory and they have all the luck

There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks

Well, there he sits in that cafe, drinkin' coffee and tellin' lies

Probably tellin' 'em how he topped that hill ten miles back

He oughta tell 'em how he missed a gear

And that Volkswagen bus full of hippies passed us

Like I was sittin' up on jacks

Or how we took that curve over on 66

Hadn't been for me hangin' on the shoulder

We'd a both wound up in the ditch

If we're on time he takes the credit

If we're late, I get the blame

Up those hills with shutters open

My stack's a-runnin' flame

My tach' runnin' red lights

Sucking diesel from the tanks

I'll take him south and bring him back

Without a word of thanks

So now you've heard my story

And I guess it's my tough luck

There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks

There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks

No double-clutchin', gear-jammin', coffee drinkin' nuts

They drive their way to glory and they have all the luck

There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks

Look at him sippin' coffee and flirtin' with that waitress

And where do you think he left me?

That's right, next to a cattle truck

Why couldn't he have put me next to that little pink Mack

Sitting over there?

Gosh, she's got pretty mud flaps

And talk about stacked, they're both chromed

Well, he'll be comin' out in a minute

And he'll get that bar and he'll go around and beat on my tires

You know for two pints of diesel, I'd have a flat on the inside dual

Ha, that'd fix him

I never did like the way he drives anyhow

Thinks he's God's gift to waitresses

He never gives 'em a tip

Well I know what he's gonna do now

Gonna take out that tape cartridge of Buck Owens and play it again

I don't know why he don't get a Merle Haggard tape...