Poor Unfortunate Souls

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways Repented, seen the light, and made a switch And I fortunately know a little magic It's a talent that I always have possessed And here lately, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed Poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true They come flocking to my cauldron Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" And I help them Yes I do Now it's happened once or twice Someone couldn't pay the price And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals Yes, I've had the odd complaint But on the whole I've been a saint To those poor unfortunate souls Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed Poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true They come flocking to my cauldron Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" And I help them Yes, I do The men up there don't like a lot of blabber They think a girl who gossips is a bore Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for? They're not all that impressed with conversation True gentlemen avoid it when they can But they dote and swoon and fawn On a lady who's withdrawn It's she who holds her tongue, come on, y'all Poor unfortunate soul (Go ahead! Make your choice) I'm a very busy woman And I haven't got all day It won't cost much Just your voice Poor unfortunate soul, it's sad (so sad) but true If you want to cross the bridge You've got to pay the toll Take a gulp and take a breath And go ahead (C'mon y'all) Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed (C'mon y'all) Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need They come flocking to my cauldron Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" And I help them Yes I do (yes I do)