Linus and Lucy

Here's a little story that should make you cry About two unhappy dames Let us call them Lucy, X and Jessie, Y Which are not their real names Now Lucy has the purity Along with the unsurety That comes with being Only twenty-one Jessie has maturity And plenty of security Whatever you can do With them she's done Given their advantages You may ask why The two ladies have such grief This is my belief In brief, Lucy is juicy But terribly drab Jessie is dressy But cold as a slab Lucy wants to be dressy Jessie wants to be juicy Lucy wants to be Jessie And Jessie, Lucy You see, Jessie is racy But hard as a rock Lucy is lacy But dull as a smock Jessie wants to be lacy Lucy wants to be Jessie That's the sorrowful precis It's very messy Poor sad souls Itching to be switching roles Lucy wants to do what Jessie does Jessie want to be what Lucy was Now if you see Lucy, X Youthful, truthful Lucy, X Let her know she's better Than she suspects Now if you see Jessie, Y Faded, jaded Jessie, Y Tell her that she's sweller Than apple pie Juicy Lucy, dressy Jessie Juicy Lucy, dressy Jessie Lucy's a lassie You pat on the head Jessie is classy But virtually dead Lucy wants to be classy Jessie wants to be Lassie If Lucy and Jessie could only combine I could tell you someone Who would finally feel just fine Juicy Lucy, just fine Dressy Jessie, just fine Juicy Lucy, just fine Dressy Jessie Tell 'em that they ought To get together quick 'Cause getting it together Is the whole trick, yeah