And Then There Were None

Dear Herr Stiefel, Moritz

I've spent the entire day thinking about your note

Truly it touched me, it did

That you'd think of me as a friend

Of course, I was saddened to hear

That your exams came off rather less well than you'd hoped

And that you will not be promoted, come fall

And yet I must say straightaway that

Fleeing to America is hardly the solution

And even if it were, I cannot provide the money you request

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, well fine

Not like it's even worth the time

But still, you know, you wanted more

Sorry, it won't change, been there before

You would do me wrong, Herr Stiefel

To read into my refusal

Any lack of affection

On the contrary, as Melchior's mother

I truly believe it to be my duty to curb this momentary loss

The thing that sucks, okay for me

A thousand bucks, I'm like, scot free

And I mean, please, that's all I need

Get real, Jose

By now you know the score

Should you like, I am ready to write your parents

I will try to convince them

That no one could've worked harder last semester

And also that too rigorous a condemnation of your current misfortunes

Could have the gravest possible effect on

You wanna laugh, it's too absurd

You start to ask, can't hear a word

You're gonna crash and burn

Right, tell me more

Still, Herr Stiefel, one thing in your letter disturbed me

Your, what shall we call it

Veiled threat, that should escape not be possible

You would take your own life

Okay, so now we do the play

Act like we so care, no way

You'll write my folks, well okay

Babe, that's how it goes

My dear boy, the world is filled with men

Businessmen, scientists, scholars even

Who have done rather poorly in school

And, yet, have gone on to brilliant careers

Consider for example, our friend

They freak or won't

You toe the line

You tell your soul, just kill some time

Will it quit? It will until they don't

They're not my home, not anymore

Not like they so were before

Still, I'll split and they'll like

Well, who knows

Who knows, who knows

In any case, I assure you that your present misfortune

Will have no effect on my feelings for you

Or on your relationship with Melchior

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, well fine

Not like it's even worth the time

But still, you know, you wanted more

Okay, so nothing's changed, heard that before

You wanna laugh, it's too absurd

You start to ask, can't hear a word

You want to crash and burn

Right, tell me more

You start to cave, you start to cry

You try to run, nowhere to hide

You want to crumble up and close that door

So head high, Herr Stiefel

And do let me hear from you soon

In the meantime, I am unchangingly

And most fondly yours,

Fanny Gabor

Just fuck it, right, enough, that's it

She'll still go on, well, for a bit

Another day of utter shit

And then there were none

And then there were none

And then there were none

And then there were none