She Left Me for Jesus

We've been datin' since high school

We never once left this town

We used to go out on the weekends

And, we'd drink 'til we drowned

But, now, she's actin' funny

And, I don't understand

I think that she's found her

Some other man

She left me for Jesus

And, that just ain't fair

She says, that he's perfect

How could I compare?

She says, I should find him

And, I'll know peace, at last

If I ever find Jesus

I'm kickin' his ass

She showed me a picture

All I could do was stare

At that freak in his sandals

With his long, purty hair

They must think that I'm stupid

Or, I don't have a clue

I bet he's a Commie

Or, even worse yet, a Jew

She left me for Jesus

And, that just ain't fair

She says, that he's perfect

How could I compare?

She says, I should find him

And, I'll know peace, at last

If I ever find Jesus

I'm kickin' his ass

She's given up whiskey

And taken up wine

While she prays for his troubles

And's forgot about mine

I'ma gonna get even

I can't handle the shame

Why, the last time we made love

She even called out his name

She left me for Jesus

And, that just ain't fair

She says, that he's perfect

How could I compare?

She says, I should find him

And, I'll know peace, at last

If I ever find Jesus

I'ma kickin' his ass

It could have been Carlos

Or, even Billy or Ted

But, if I ever find Jesus

He's gonna wish he were dead

Ah, man