Miss You Hate You

Now I've debated That my sobriety is overrated And I want to feel intoxicated For just a moment to escape it, I miss you I'm feeling weighted And it's been so long since I've been faded I'm not trying to make this complicated I'm proud of the life that i've created, I hate you I miss when my eyes would dilate And I would start to get that taste that I Waited all day for Settle that score, with my head on my floor Painted my face with elation, 'til I forget contemplation And I could vacate my mind, copy paste a time Where I was funny, loud, pretty, stupid, forgetful, regretful False sense of serenity, identity, I was my only enemy But damn, did it feel good And I miss you Now I've debated That my sobriety is overrated And I want to feel intoxicated For just a moment to escape it, I miss you I'm feeling weighted And it's been so long since I've been faded I'm not trying to make this complicated I'm proud of the life that i've created, I hate you (Miss you) (Hate you) (Miss you) (I hate you) I hated when I was degraded Two more drinks call it persuaded It's ok, it's only fun, you're young, won't matter in the long run Grabbed my waist and called me hun Then it was over, it was done And he was funny, loud, pretty, stupid, forgetful, regretful Thoughtless decisions based on loneliness Lowliness, my own weakness The bottle was my only fix (And I hate you) Now I've debated That my sobriety is overrated And I want to feel intoxicated For just a moment to escape it, I miss you I'm feeling weighted And it's been so long since I've been faded I'm not trying to make this complicated I'm proud of the life that i've created, I hate you