Oh, Possum

Marsupials with a rodent's paw & face

Consume the scraps scrapped from your plate

Dumpster diver & street survivor

Trash day is the only day to die for

O - it's silent

Disney makes it look so easy, prehensile tail that hangs high from trees

Black beady eyes with a rabies immunity

I'll eat anything at all, Ticks are a delicacy

O - oh, Possum

I scream at my own ass

I scream at my own ass

I scream at my own ass

I scream at my own ass

I'm not good at seeing things real far

Headlights flashing from speeding cars

My limbs & entrails scrapped across the blackened scorching gritty tar (Roll)

The opossum is a member of the marsupial family of the order didelphimorphia. They are the largest order of marsupials in the western hemisphere. Didelphis virginiana, or the opossum if you will, holds a plantigrade stance: meaning their feet stand quite firmly on the ground. They have an opposable digit on each claw, & like some primates, a prehensile tail with which to cling onto the branches of trees - but not upside down! No no no no no no no no NO!

That is a common misconception: Opossums cannot hang upside down by their tails, nor should they ever be hung inside of a plexiglass box, & suspended into the air by a bunch of rednecks in North Carolina on New Years Eve. Why would you do something like that, Clay Logan? They’re just trying tohelpout & eat all of your ticks, you fucking bastard! I fucking hate you Clay Logan you fuck! How would you like to be hung up in the cold winter air as a time ball, bitch? You wouldn’t like it, would you? Goddamn you Clay Logan, I fucking hate you Clay Logan, I Fucking hate you you fucking cunt!

Where was I?

Oh yes, possums

Now the Possum has a gland in its anus that produces a smell resembling that of a rotting corpse. They use this in their famous ruse of playing dead. Like their cousin, the kangaroo, the female opossum holds her young in a pouch until they are ready to live on their own. Funny thing about the female opossum, for indeed, she has:

1, 2, 3, 4

5, 6, 7, 8

9, 10, 11, 12

13 nipples!

13 of them - I’m not lying about that. There’s 12 arranged in a circle with one directly in the middle. The male opossum is not without his custom traits either, for you see he has a forked penis bearing twin glands. This is so he can acquire double, sometimes triple, & on kinkier nights, quadruple the amount of opossum pussy

It is also a proven fact, that when the opossum is frustrated, when he is angry, when he has had it up to here with the entire goddamn world; he bends over & points his snout between his legs. And with beast eyes full of fire, he opens his wide, gaping, foaming jaws & that’s when he

Screams at his own ass

He screams at his own ass

He screams at his own ass

He screams at his own ass

I can't see things really far

Headlights flashing from speeding cars

My limbs & entrails scrapped across the blackened scorching gritty tar

I'm just a misunderstood marsupial, & here is my deal

One man's trash is another creature's meal

I'm just a scavenger & a hunter when I need to be

& I’ll probably never contract rabies

I'm just an opossum & here's what I have to say

Don't mistake me for dead, it’s all a play

I am the possum king

I can do anything