Breathe

Today I looked up how long it would take to drown

Today I looked up how long it would take to drown

How long can you hold your breath

Before you can't hold you're breath any longer?

And how long until your lungs give out

And the sound that used to fill the void

Quiets like a mouse at midnight

Searching for it's piece of the pie?

Today I stood in front of a window

And imagined what it would be like to fly

No, I didn't, I imagined what it would be like to jump outside

The frame that caged me inside

But my better judgement said, "It wouldn't be very kind

If someone you cared about found you"

That's the voice that plays like a tape on rewind

Rewind, rewind

It wouldn't be fair to a stranger either

Today I'm reminded of the time I watched a man

Jump into a highway when I as just seventeen

The car lights on either side of the upper portion of the auto route

Below standing at attention

Starring off into the distance, just waiting for the road to clear

And the way to the comfort of their loved ones to be made

Death is a strange and hollow inconvenience

When you think about it

There's a blank face that quickly and abruptly

Finds it's way to all that witness something of that magnitude

It's not empathy, it's not sympathy

It's more of a forced, intrinsic, and integral self reflection

Why would someone do such a thing?

What could drive someone to that type of depth?

Could I be driven to such depths?

Would I ever be able to jump?

There is no place to be soft in these moments, jump

There is no time to be caught in this moment, jump

There is no need to believe there was a moment, jump

Sigh, believe, relief in this moment

'Cause I could never be the one to be this moment

Or could I jump?

Today I looked up how long it would take to drown

Do you first hold your breath?

Do you exhale all of your problems and worries

Before casting your thoughts to the bottom

Of an otherwise empty place below the poverty line

Of depressed thoughts and the sad calamity

Of a haunted house you've called home?

I don't know

Maybe someone out there has an answer

But for now I'm still tryin' to come to terms with the fact

That today I looked up how long it would take to drown