Nobody Does It Like Me

Yeah

If there's a wrong way to do it

A wrong way to play it

Nobody does it like me

If there's a wrong way to do it

A right way to screw it up

Nobody does it like me

I've got a big loud mouth

I'm always talking much too free

If you go for tact and manners

Better stay away from me

If there's a wrong way to keep it cool

A right way to be a fool

Nobody does it like me

I hear a love song, a ballad

I toss like a salad

Nobody tosses like me

And when my evenings get tougher

I just take two Bufferin

And drink a hot cup of tea

Last night I met an old acquaintance

At a fancy corner pub

He said, "Come on, let's have some supper"

So he used my credit club

If there's a wrong way to take a guy

The worst way to make a guy

Nobody does it like me

If there's a wrong bell, I ring it

A wrong note, I sing it

Nobody does it like me

If there's a problem, I duck it

I don't solve it, I just muck it up

Nobody does it like me

And so I try to be a lady

I'm not lady, I'm a fraud

And when I talk like I'm a lady

What I sound like is a broad

If there's a wrong way to get a guy

The right way to lose a guy

Nobody does it like me

Nobody does it, no

Nobody does it

Nobody does it like me

Nobody does it like me