A Musical

What the hell are musicals?

It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops

And the plot is conveyed through song

Through song? Yes

Wait, so and actor is saying his lines and then

Out of nowhere he just starts singing? Yes

Well that is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard

You're doing a play, got something to say, so you sing it? It's absurd

Who on earth is going to sit there while an actor breaks into song?

What possible thought could the audience think

Other than, this is horribly wrong?

Remarkably, they wont' think that

Seriously? Why not?

Because it's a

Musical, a musical

And nothing's as amazing as a musical

With song and dance and sweet romance

And happy endings happening by happenstance

Bright lights, stage fights, and a dazzling chorus

You wanna be great, then you gotta create a musical

I don't know, I find it hard to believe

People would actually pay to see something like this

Let's just say it's a Saturday night and you wanna go out on the town

Got a lady to flatter who might give it up if you don't let her down

You could go see a tragedy, but that wouldn't be very fun

Or a play from Greek mythology, see a mother have sex with her son

You could go see a drama with all of that trauma and pain

Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain

Go see a

Musical, a musical

A poppy piece releasing all your blues-icals

Where crooners croon a catchy tune

And limber-legged ladies thrill you till you swoon

Ooh's, ah's, big applause, and a standing ovation

The future is bright if you could just write a musical

Some make you happy, some make you sad

Some are quite big, some quite small

Some are too long, some are just plays with song

Some musicals have no talking at all

No talking at all?

That's right, there's no talking

All of the dialog is sung in a very dramatic fashion

Um, really, yes really

There's no talk, there's no talking

And they often stay on one note for a very long time

So that when they change to a different note, you notice

And it's supposed to create a dramatic effect

But mostly you just sit there asking yourself

Why aren't they talking?

Sounds miserable

I believe it's pronounced misérables

And people actually like this?

No, they love it, and what's not to love?

It's such a delight, there's nothing quite like a musical

Ooh, another vision, I haven't even told you the best part yet

Feel that fascinating rhythm move into your feet

Uh, what is that?

Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat

Oh, are you okay?

You slap your lap, then finger-snap

That's when you know it's time to tap

What the hell are you doing now?

It's called a dance break

Apparently this happens in musicals as well

People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance

Why? Does it advance the plot? No

Advance character? Not necessarily

Then why do it? Because it's entertaining

Five, six, seven, eight

Another vision

It's a musical, what do you talk? What do you talk?

It's a musical, A Seussical? No, a musical with girls on stage

(A musical) We've got snappy repartee

And the women are risqué, and the chorus boys are kinda gay

(A musical)

A true, blue, new musical

Stand back, it's a musical

Some musicals are very serious

A big, glittering musical, a musical

It's a musical for us

A big and shiny, mighty fine-y

Glitter glitz and chorus line-y

Bob your head and shake your heiney

Musical

It's a musical (It's a musical)

It is a musical (It's a musical)

Yes, I get it now

We'll do a

Musical, a musical (No kidding)

What could be more amazing than a musical?

With song and dance and sweet romance

And with a musical we might have half a chance

Ooh's, ah's, big applause, with everyone cheering for us

And for some unexplainable reason

The crowd goes wild every time

When dancers kick in unison

In one big wonderful line

And then you got yourself a musical

A musical

A la la la la la la la, palooz-ical

With flashy style and a big, fake smile

A snazzy band, some jazzy hands, I swear that I'll

Cross my heart, hope to die if it isn't a doozy

Take it from me

They'll be flockin' to see

Your star-lit, won't quit

Big hit musical

A big hit musical