Girl Gps

Girls love eating, we do

We were the first ones to make it fun

Hello, Apple, Garden of Eden

Girls love to eat

I saw a bachelorette party take down

A live buffalo at 35 miles an hour off the freeway

It was magnificent, the girls ran alongside it like

Stacy, put your veil over his snout

You ever tried to get

A group of drunk girls to walk from a bar to a restaurant?

It's like herding drunk, retarded sheep

First of all, yes, I love being a woman

We're amazing, I love Beyonce

But we have no idea where we're going, okay?

We're walking around, all we know is that we got a little sheep who's on

And we're freezing because no one brought a jacket

Just walking forever, no clue

I'm cold, I'm cold, why didn't you bring a jacket?

'Cause I'm in my '20s and I'm stupid

I'm cold, I have to pee, I'm cold, I have to pee

I don't have solutions, just more problems

Everybody's got that one girlfriend that's a little filthy

She has no issue with peeing behind a dumpster

It holds everyone up, you're all trying to walk and she's back there

She's like, you guys! Wait

Wait, no, make sure nobody's watching

You're sitting there running interference for your friend

Don't look at her sheep vagina, it's just mine

I promise you nobody's watching, I promise you

I promise you no guy is driving by like

Oh, well tonight really sucks

Is that a drunk girl peeing on hot garbage?

Awesome

What am I doing? I gotta get to the craft store

She's done peeing, you're all wandering

Now you're into the second hour, you're still drunk somehow

You're cold, you're hungry

And you everybody's got that one girlfriend

That has a poor moral barometer

She'll get in a car with any guy, as long as it looks warm

And she'll rationalize why he's not a rapist

Based solely on the way that he's dressed

Every girl's had to do this, right?

You have to make these like game time decisions

You're like, he's not going to rape me, he's wearing Nike dunks

Guys, come over here

Your friend goes over to the guy

She bends down like a street walker

She's like, hi, what's your name?

Todd, oh, that's a fun name, that's a really exotic name

Oh, you gave us a ride, okay, that's really fun

My name is Crystal, nice to meet you, hold on a second

You guys! he's going to give us a ride, he's going to give us a ride

Do you want to go with him? Your friends know better

They're on the other side of the street huddled together like

Crystal, get away, Crystal's stupid

And she's like, hold on one second

Thank you so much, I really like your chin strap

It's really attractive

Hold on one second

Come here, you guys, he's going to give us a ride

Like, do you want to just keep walking?

Sarah, you're being a bitch, you are

Like we talked about this earlier when you were in the bathroom

This is what we talked about, you're being a b-

You don't want to go with him?

Hold on one second, thank you so much

He's being nice, stop it, stop it

He's not, he's not, he's not going to rape us, he's not going to rape

You have to whisper the rape part

Just in case that was his intention

You don't want to offend him ahead of time

God forbid you offend him and he leaves, oh no, then what?

He's not going to rape us, he's wearing Skechers, that's fair

Now you're in hour three

You didn't take the ride from chin straps, so you're walking, you're cold

No one knows where they're going because you're all relying on girl GPS

For those of you that don't know

Girl GPS pretty much consists of one girl doing this

Erm, I feel like it's this way