Patient Zero

They served you champagne like a hero

When you landed, someone carried your bag

From here on out, you're patient zero

Smelling ether as they hand you the rag

Life is good

You look around and think

I'm in the right neighborhood

But, honey, you just moved in

Life is grand

And wouldn't you like

To have it go as planned?

Go as planned

Hip, hip, hooray, hocus pocus

With some magic you can fly through the air

But when you're the guy pulling focus

There are people who will wish you weren't there

Life is good

You look around and think

I'm in the right neighborhood

But, honey, you just moved in

Life is grand

And wouldn't you like

To have it go as planned?

Go as planned

Go west, young man

Go west, take a real screen test

Doesn't count as a job well done

The locust have their day

The suckers pay in a bay

Carmen's turn would probably pull that trigger for fun

And, in the hills, where all the sunshine, constant companion

Close enough to almost touch the lights of the canyon

The lights of the canyon

But news filtered over the transom

That a villain ended up with a part

You paid your respects like a ransom

To a moment that was doomed from the start

Life is good

You look around and think

I'm in the right neighborhood

But, honey, you don't belong

Life is grand

And wouldn't you like

To have it go as planned?

Go as planned

In the hills, where all the sunshine, constant companion

Close enough to almost touch the lights of the canyon

The lights of the canyon

The lights of the canyon

The lights of the canyon

The lights of the canyon