The Limits of Battleships

Have you ever been part of

A criminal conspiracy?

It really is incredible fun

Once the boring paper work is done

A man could get used to it

Have you ever had posters

That seemed to watch you

When you were sleeping?

I found them all underneath the sink

Drunk and conferring

One drink for the limits of battleships

Two drinks for the limits of coal

Three drinks for the pilots

One drink for the limits of battleships

Two drinks for accountants

Have you every known anyone

Who could wear a hat indoors

Without guns or bodyguards

To impress on the bare-headed hoards

That the choice was a reasonable one?

Have you ever been wound up

To the point of prison food?

So far, so tame

Everybody has a prick in the game

But have you ever been to bed with Elaine?

One drink for the limits of battleships

Two drinks for the limits of coal

Three drinks for the pilots

Four drinks for the permanent residents

Five drinks on the golf course

No drinks for the enemy combatants

No drinks for the door-staff

No drinks for the tireless testers

No drinks

It's only the way of the world, I have heard

It's only the way of the world

He shook like a liars tongue

He shook like a liars tongue

An old colonial snack

With pastry on his arm

And it burns like writer's block

It burns like writer's block

But there's no girls on the team

No girls on the team

He shook like a liars tongue

He shook like a liars tongue

An old colonial snack

With pastry on his arm

And it burns like writer's block

It burns like writer's block

But there's no girls on the team

No girls on the team

It burns