I'm Doing My Best

What do you think when you see me? Don't judge me, I'm doin' my best Why couldn't my life be easy? That's because mine is a test And maybe I'm broken completely I'm always so fuckin' depressed I'm meaningless, nobody needs me I'm everyone's deepest regret Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one This heart that I have is a black one I contemplate usin' this handgun I reminisce times that I had once With the girl of my dreams that I had once I used to have friends, now I have none I gotta just face it, I can't run I'm cursed to be someone you can't love More medication, I need it right now All these prescriptions keep bringin' me down Cryin' for help, but they don't hear a sound Head underwater, tonight I might drown I come from torture and horror, my life isn't normal It kills me, I hate to reflect I don't trust anyone, I said fuck everyone I can't think straight, but I'm tryin' my best Keep all my nightmares and secrets I try, but I can't let them go They see my emotions as weakness But they only see what I show Some people call me a genius Others would say I'm a joke I can't escape from my demons I'm stuck in this world without hope Yeah, watch as my spirit disintegrates Watch as my body obliterates Trauma, it caused all this inner hate Memories I can't eliminate I'm goin' down the decisions made This isn't sudden, I've been afraid Crazy and hollow, I'm still the same I can't break outta my sinful ways Tellin' y'all sorrowful stories And not for attention and not for the glory It's just how I feel, I'm just doin' this for me That's why I don't sleep until 4:00 in the mornin' And when I'm on the mic, it's a suicide warnin' I'm wearin' a halo, already I'm soarin' But I ain't no angel, I'm evil, unholy I'm merely a ghost in this city, I'm lonely Yeah, looks are deceitful, search under the surface Reality's fake, a ridiculous circus Where findin' your purpose means findin' a purpose And bein' yourself means you hide behind curtains Just struggles and burdens, the pain only worsens The future's uncertain, the past always lurkin' The present converges, but time's a diversion From whatever's next, it doesn't concern us True pain isn't somethin' that just goes away It stays inside you forever And all you can do is pray for a better tomorrow It may not come, but that's reality It's just the world we live in What do you think when you see me? Don't judge me, I'm doin' my best Why couldn't my life be easy? That's because mine is a test And maybe I'm broken completely I'm always so fuckin' depressed I'm meaningless, nobody needs me I'm everyone's deepest regret Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one This heart that I have is a black one I contemplate usin' this handgun I reminisce times that I had once With the girl of my dreams that I had once I used to have friends, now I have none I gotta just face it, I can't run I'm cursed to be someone you can't love DempseyRollBoy In a world of my own