Anything Goes (From "Anything Goes")

Times have changed

And we've often rewound the clock

Since the Puritans got a shock

When they landed on Plymouth Rock

If today

Any shock they should try to stem

Instead of landing on Plymouth Rock

Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking

Was looked on as something shocking

But now, God knows

Anything goes

Good authors too

Who once knew better words

Now only use four-letter words writing prose

Anything goes

If driving fast cars you like, if low bars you like

If old hymns you like, if bare limbs you like

If Mae West you like or me undressed you like

Why nobody will oppose

When every night

The set that's smart is intruding

At nudist parties in studios

Anything goes

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)

Can get Russian reds to yes her

Then I suppose

Anything goes

When Rockefeller still can hoard

Enough money to let Max Gordon

Produce his shows

Anything goes

The world has gone mad today and good's bad today

And black's white today, and day's night today

And that gent today you gave a cent today

Once had several chateaux

When folks who still can ride in jitneys

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby clothes

Anything goes

When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction

Instruct Anna Sten in diction

Then Anna shows

Anything goes

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up

Now does a handspring

Landing up on her toes

Anything goes

Just think of those shocks you've got

And those knocks you've got

And those blues you've got

From that news you've got

And those pains you've got

(If any brains you've got)

From those little radios

So Missus R. with all her trimmings

Can broadcast abed from Simmons

'Cause Franklin knows

Anything goes