You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission

To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'

KG's on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless

Until we brought Skip O'Pot2Mus

And Daddy gonna get some, probably underage and dumb

And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young

Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink

Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink

M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup

Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up

'Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale

After that I get silly, like soupy sales

Now it's midnight, and I'm completely boofy blitzed

A six of Schlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz

With my beer-tinted glasses, I'm ready to bitty battle

I'm hungry like a wolf, but I'll end up tending cattle

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

And I'm pretty fucking drunk

Here she comes, a funky fried cutie

Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty

Cause I'm Mr. McFeely, with a speedy delivery

You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was digging me

But maybe I should check and see, if this is where I want to be

Hey Lupus is she cute, yeah, for a pygmy

Aw, what do you know? You're probably going home alone

And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone

Plus beauty, it's only skin deep

It's in the eye of the beholder, and my beholder's about to tweak

I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can

It's menage a trois, you and me and heineken

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

And I'm pretty fucking drunk

Regrets, I've had a few

First and foremost, I'd like to mention you

For the sake of conversation, we'll call you the brand new heavy

You're a mix between an Ugnaught and Eugene Levy

You can call in big-boned, I prefer to call it gut

You're Buddha, you're Shamu, you're Jabba the fucking Hutt

You had harpoon scars, and your boobies were hairy

I smelt tuna melt, but I wasn't gonna worry

It was 3 am, and I wasn't getting squat

So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot

I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian

Then it hit me, something bit me while my little rod was fishing

I was deep sea fishing, I took a fat chance

But how was I supposed to know that jabber-jaws lived in your pants

At that junction I came to realize

That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size

Fatty fatty boom-ba-latty, I gotta lament

That you were not a girl, you were an experiment

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

And I'm pretty fucking drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

And I'm pretty fucking drunk