I Made It With A Bagel and Cream Cheese

I'm sitting in a deli, a sex starved sad beached whale,

My boyfriend dumped me like a diaper in a diaper pail,

He no longer wants to pinch my ass,

He says I'm much too pushy and my mouth is too crass,

So I made it with a bagel and cream cheese cause I was feelin' hot.

Ooh hot hot hot hot hot Too hot hot hot hot hot.

I invited my mom to the deli cause I wanted to vent.

And I stabbed my chopped liver with a fork till the prongs all bent.

I thought that bagels always brought me joy.

But now I play with them just like a doggie play toy

I made it with a bagel and cream cheese cause I was feelin' hot.

Ooh hot hot hot hot hot. Too Hot Hot hot hot hot.

 So to drown my tears, I ate 6 tuna melts on rye,

 I haven't been unfaithful but he said he liked me better shy,

 He said You're like a horny owl in heat.

You really are a turn off, Liked you better sweet.

So I made it with a bagel and cream cheese cause I was feelin' hot.

Ooh hot hot hot hot. Too hot hot hot hot hot.

Well cream cheese is like a lubricant that's easy to spread.

Just like a Kardashian each time she's a newlywed.

Tell me where I went wrong

I put hot sauce and a boomerang in my thong,

So I made it with a bagel and cream cheese, cause I was feelin' hot.

Ooh hot hot hot hot. Too hot hot hot hot.

I made it with a bagel and cream cheese Yeah Yeah

and now I'll never get a bad disease no no

I made it with a bagel and cream cheese, cause I was feelin' hot.