If You Were A Country Girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

You'd take his pictures off the wall and you'd smash it

Get to flying off the Jack handle batshit

Run and get the shotgun underneath the mattress

Point it at his tailgate, pull the trigger at it

You'd take a buck knife slash up his truck tires

When he ain't looking you'd go push him in a bonfire

You'd put a copperhead up in his bed

Cover up his back porch floor with some barbed wire

Wouldn't be lying round watching no heartbreak Hallmark TV

(Bitchin' 'bout him leaving)

And you damn sure wouldn't be crying into your martini

(You'd be getting even)

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

You'd round up your dixie chicks and you'd go crazies

You'd put a little somethin' somethin' in his black eyed peas

Duct tape him up in your trunk, later hater

Drive him down to Louisiana feed him to an alligator

And you wouldn't be caught up in the woe is me drama with a candle lit

Tryna get over it

Cause your bona fide chicken fried momma

Woulda taught you how to handle it

And you'd handle it

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

Country girls don't take no smack

And if they get hurt they hurt you right back

Meaner than a pissed off yellow jacket

When you're cutting the grass girl and you'd know that if

You'd know that if

You were a country

If you were a country girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl

If you were a country

If you were a country girl