Count to Ten Bobbie Jo (feat. Heidi Karol Johnson & G. Wayne Hoffman)

SCROOGE:

Cratchit!

Cratchit, didn’t I tell you I don’t want any of that Christmas humbug near this bank?

BOBBIE JO:

Yes, Mr. Scrooge.

SCROOGE:

Do your job, woman. That’s all I ask.

BOBBIE JO:

Yes, Mr. Scrooge.

SCROOGE:

You let me down Cratchit, I’m not happy.

BOBBIE JO:

I know you ain’t sir.

(The telephone rings.)

BOBBIE JO:

Marley Savings and Loan —

LAVINIA:

Well, is the Prince of Darkness letting you out early today?

BOBBIE JO:

Sorry, Lavinia, I can’t talk now. He’s on the war path again.

LAVINIA:

That’s a sure sign Christmas is nigh.

BOBBIE JO:

Gotta go!

LAVINIA:

Oh wait, have you finished with Timmy’s costume.

BOBBIE JO:

Just a few more snowflakes to sew on

SCROOGE’S VOICE (over intercom):

Cratchit!! Do you hear me?

BOBBIE JO:

Bye Vinnie.

SCROOGE:

Here’s the “D” to “K” files. I want ’em done before one o’clock.

BOBBIE JO:

But even if I skip lunch, I’m only gonna get through “D” by one.

SCROOGE:

Then you better get cracking. “L-M-N-O-P” coming up.

BOBBIE JO:

COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO.

JUST THINK OF ALL THE BILLS YOU OWE.

SO BITE YOUR TONGUE AND TAKE IT SLOW

AND COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO —

JUST COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO.

BOBBIE JO:

The thing is, sir? I was hoping I could leave early today.

SCROOGE:

That doesn’t seem very likely now does it?

BOBBIE JO:

But my kids are in that show, Mr. Scrooge. There’s a lot of errands I —

SCROOGE:

Please, Cratchit. I know all about that show.

BOBBIE JO:

You do?

SCROOGE:

Oh, yeah. And just to make sure you don’t discuss it on office time, I’m disconnecting your phone!

BOBBIE JO:

COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO!

THOUGH YOU’RE UPSET, DON'T LET IT SHOW.

YOU GAVE YOUR PRIDE UP LONG AGO.

SO COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO —

JUST COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO.

BOBBIE JO:

Yes.

SCROOGE:

And Cratchit? Don’t even think of sewing those snowflakes. Just get to work!

BOBBIE JO and BACK-UP SINGERS:

ONE FINE DAY I’LL MAKE A BREAK.

IT’S TOO MUCH BULL FOR A GIRL TO TAKE.

BUT THERE’S THREE OF US TO CLOTHE AND FEED,

AND FORTUNE’S JUST A WORD YOU READ.

IF I’VE BEEN BAD I GUESS I’VE PAID.

MY SICK SON NEEDS THE DOCTOR’S AID.

DOES HEAVEN SEE MY LIFE OF WOE?

I ATE HUMBLE PIE AND DINED ON CROW.

FOR NINE LONG YEARS I’VE HEARD SCROOGE YAP,

BUT THE TENSION’S GROWIN’ AND I’M GONNA SNAP!

SCROOGE:

Cratchit! Letter!

BOBBIE JO:

Yes, sir.

SCROOGE:

To Mabel Suggs, 35 Maiden Lane, blah, blah. Dear Widow Suggs: Due to your failure to pay your bills, we are ordering the shutdown of your gas, ’lectric, and water, effective twelve noon tomorrow. Very truly yours, cetera, cetera. Fill in the rest . . .

BOBBIE JO:

Mr. Scrooge! How can you? On Christmas Eve!

SCROOGE:

You’re right, Cratchit. What am I thinking? (Dictates:) “P.S.: Merry Christmas!”

BOBBIE JO: BACK UP SINGERS:

COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO! COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO!

FORGIT THE FIT YOU WANT TO THROW! COUNT TO TEN.

DON'T COUNT THE HOURS LEFT TO GO. OH, COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO.

JUST COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO — BOBBIE JO.

JUST COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO. COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO.

SCROOGE (“offstage”)

CRATCHIT!!

BOBBIE JO BACK UP SINGERS

COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO! COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO!

JUST THINK OF ALL THE BILLS YOU OWE. ONCE AGAIN, COUNT TO TEN.

SO BITE YOUR TONGUE OH, COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO.

AND TAKE IT SLOW. BOBBIE JO.

AND COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO — COUNT TO TEN, COUNT TO TEN,

THEN COUNT TO TEN AGAIN. AGAIN. COUNT TO TEN,

COUNT TO TEN, BOBBIE JO! COUNT TO TEN BOBBIE JO!