Leg Room

Down on Leicester Square

In the rain

Where the rubbish comes in piles

And the art comes in spades

Down on Leicester Square

In the rain

The night time drifts in

Despite the illuminescence

It covers all manner of dark things

The night time drifts in

Covers all manner of dark and small things

When I round the corner

I turned to my very well-known comrade, and I said

There lies the dustman

There lies the popcorn seller

There lies the director

And his clapperboard clapper

My public needs its images

My public needs its confidences

And I'm in love

And I'm in love with a British film star

You demand and I supply it

Hollywood is no longer a place

Hollywood rains acid in your face

There was a film released in Cannes last week

A sad and empty red carpet

Unclaimed seats

The great plains across an untamed west

But it was three stars at best

It was three stars at best

Down on Charing Cross Road, in the rain

I realized I was in love, I was in love

With a holographic representation of a singer

We all used to know very well

Well there lies the milkman

There lies the philosopher

There lies the commuter and his season ticket holder

My public needs its images

My public wants my confidences

'Cause I'm in love

I'm in love with the phrase, game changer

What does it even mean?

And I'm in love

With an animatronic dog

And I'm, I'm in love with a zero percent finance sofa

I'm in love with James Corden's Carpool Karaoke

I'm in love with a picture

Of myself