When I Get Back To Blighty

When I get back to Blighty

I'm gonna kiss that shore

'Cause the further that I sail from thee

I only love thee more

When I get back to Blighty

I may actually love you less

'Cause you may be, 'cause you may be pointing

A little too far west

The bus driver ain't smokin'

Or swiggin' from black can

But whilst he was texting

He nearly killed a man

The bus queue all Twittered

About the near miss

And the rag 'n' bone man's wearing high-vis

And the rag 'n' bone man's wearing high-vis

See, the spirit of old Blighty

Ain't making deals on phone

It's drinking in a backstreet pub

'Til 12 midnight alone

The real Clint Eastwood

The real Lee Van Cleef

Ended up in a bar in Hull

Minus all of their teeth

When I get back to Blighty

I'll be sure to kiss that coast

'Cause of all the rotten places

I miss this rot the most

When I get back to Blighty

I won't salute your queen

I'll salute the real people

The history they've seen

The phone ain't working

And the bus shelter's smashed

And all the 'Help for Harry's'

Are bleeding for your cash

Now the shock and awe

Replaced pie and mash, oh

This country is out on the lash

This country is out on the lash

See, the spirit of old Blighty

Ain't making deals on phone

It's drinking in a backstreet pub

'Til 12 midnight alone

The real Clint Eastwood

The real Lee Van Cleef

Ended up in a bar in Hull

Minus all of their teeth

It's 11 a.m

It's blue upon blue in the sky

But everyone around agrees

Oh, Phil Collins, Phil Collins must die

A white T-shirt and faded jeans

Just, just an ordinary guy

But prisoner to his tax returns

Oh, Phil Collins, Phil Collins must die

Oh, he must die, oh, yeah

Ooh woah, woah, woah

He must die

Ooh, yeah, Phil Collins must die

He must die, oh, yeah

Woah, woah, woah

Yeah, die, ooh, ooh, woah, woah