Embassy Lament

Oh my dear, how boring, he's defecting

Just like all the others, he's expecting

Us to be impressed with what he's done here

But he

Hasn't stopped to think about the paperwork

His gesture causes

We've an embassy to run here

If these people can't strike blows for freedom

With a valid visa, we don't need 'em

If we seem off-hand then please remember

This is nothing very special

He's the fourth we've had since last November

Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when he's safely in the West

He'll be the hero to discuss

The media will lionise him

Fame and fortune plus

No one will recall it's thanks to us

Have you an appointment with the consul?

If you don't we know what his response'll

Be, he will not see you, with respect it

Buggers up his very taxing schedule

Pushing peace and understanding

Let us hope this won't affect it

Far too many jokers cross the border

Not a single document in order

Russia must be empty

Though we're all for

Basic human rights it makes you wonder

What they built the Berlin Wall for

Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when you've filled in all the forms

And been passed clear of all disease

Debriefed, debugged, de-drugged, disarmed

And disinfected, please

Don't forget the guys who cut your keys