The First Step

You could say I'm plastered, 'cause I hit the wall I lost count after 21 in the college crawl Well, I been a boozin' bastard They're callin' me Edward Forty-hands, I can't touch anyone With an enemy like me, who would need a friend? Never mind, I'm drunk Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started For an EKG for the broken-hearted I'd try to see the glass as half full But I'd probably just drink that too Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too Well, I'm the reason they call it an "Irish Goodbye" And I hope I don't choke on my vomit tonight Well, I bet that the bottle of brandy's so bitter'd Be better than bitin' the bullet and betterin' myself Sorry if I slur Take my anxiety and my sobriety I'll kill two birds with one stoner So if you see me please, take my keys I don't wanna be an organ donor Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started For an EKG for the broken-hearted I'd try to see the glass as half full But I'd probably just drink that too Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too Well, I'm going down, and I'm taking you with me I'm bringing the water to the horse So bring me the hair of the dog that bit me So I can clone it and have a little more, haha Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started For an EKG for the broken-hearted I'd try to see the glass as half full Even when I'm empty, half full I try to see the glass as half full But I'd probably just- (Aah!) Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too I'd probably just drink that too 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer You take one down, pass it around, 92 bottles of beer on the wall 76 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer You take on down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall (W!)